In my first draft, I think I need some help with being a bit more specific about my argument. I think I do a fairly good job at explaining what is actually going on and what the problem is, but it can always be better. I think I get to the point, and I make my arguments concise and to the point.
Some feedback about weak areas would definitely help strengthen my overall argument and letter. Also, I do not think I straight up attack the author, but I do address him and the editor. So, some advice on if it is too direct with that would help.
In the end, I think the greatest help would be to know where the strong writing is and where the weak writing is. If I get feedback on that, I can replace and edit the weak points in my letter and build upon my strong areas to make the entire letter better and more effective.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Draft 1 of Letter to the Editor
Positive Step but No Solution
To Max Landman, editor-and-chief of the TCU Daily Skiff:
The Bowl Championship Series system in college football has had numerous critics over the years since it was established as the way to determine the national champion in college football. An article in the TCU Daily Skiff published on March 24th of this year talks about a potential solution to this problem. Justin White compares and contrasts the current BCS system and unveils the Mountain West Conference’s proposed playoff plan in his article entitled “Mountain West presents eight-team playoff proposal.” Though I believe this to be a step in the right direction for college football, I think it is only the first of many steps that needs to be taken in order to fairly determine a national champion.
White talks about how fans that have been outraged in the past can now breathe easier because of this proposed plan; I think that is a bit bold. The article gives an overview of the newly proposed plan, and although it would replace the current BCS system, a 12 member committee would not only choose the eight teams to compete for the title, but they would also seed them, one through eight. This leaves the door open for some extremely arbitrary decisions when picking one team over another. The article takes the shape that this is the solution to a huge problem in college football when in reality, possibly one capricious group could be replaced by another group that is set up to have the same problems and make the same mistakes.
Like I said earlier, this is a step in the right direction, and I agree with what is said by the athletics director Danny Morrison in this article. He says this plan came about now because the MWC is doing well, not because some other BCS conferences are doing badly. The proposal is receiving praise by other conferences, but I think the MWC is ultimately trying to make their case for an automatic bid in the current BCS system. A playoff system has been discussed for years, and the various ideas have involved eight, 16, and even more teams, but the BCS continues to live on.
In the end, it is teams like the 2008 Utah Utes who get short-changed. They had a perfect season, and they won their BCS bowl game, beating an extremely well-coached and talented Alabama Crimson Tide team…why should they not get a chance to play for the national championship? There are teams like this, year in and year out, and still this problem exists. A problem that is as continuous as this one cannot be solved by a simple proposal by one conference, and I think the way this article flows, that is exactly what it is getting at. More needs to be done, and it will take some serious time for everyone in college football to settle on a fix; at least now more conferences are starting to realize that something has to change, and that truly is half the battle.
To Max Landman, editor-and-chief of the TCU Daily Skiff:
The Bowl Championship Series system in college football has had numerous critics over the years since it was established as the way to determine the national champion in college football. An article in the TCU Daily Skiff published on March 24th of this year talks about a potential solution to this problem. Justin White compares and contrasts the current BCS system and unveils the Mountain West Conference’s proposed playoff plan in his article entitled “Mountain West presents eight-team playoff proposal.” Though I believe this to be a step in the right direction for college football, I think it is only the first of many steps that needs to be taken in order to fairly determine a national champion.
White talks about how fans that have been outraged in the past can now breathe easier because of this proposed plan; I think that is a bit bold. The article gives an overview of the newly proposed plan, and although it would replace the current BCS system, a 12 member committee would not only choose the eight teams to compete for the title, but they would also seed them, one through eight. This leaves the door open for some extremely arbitrary decisions when picking one team over another. The article takes the shape that this is the solution to a huge problem in college football when in reality, possibly one capricious group could be replaced by another group that is set up to have the same problems and make the same mistakes.
Like I said earlier, this is a step in the right direction, and I agree with what is said by the athletics director Danny Morrison in this article. He says this plan came about now because the MWC is doing well, not because some other BCS conferences are doing badly. The proposal is receiving praise by other conferences, but I think the MWC is ultimately trying to make their case for an automatic bid in the current BCS system. A playoff system has been discussed for years, and the various ideas have involved eight, 16, and even more teams, but the BCS continues to live on.
In the end, it is teams like the 2008 Utah Utes who get short-changed. They had a perfect season, and they won their BCS bowl game, beating an extremely well-coached and talented Alabama Crimson Tide team…why should they not get a chance to play for the national championship? There are teams like this, year in and year out, and still this problem exists. A problem that is as continuous as this one cannot be solved by a simple proposal by one conference, and I think the way this article flows, that is exactly what it is getting at. More needs to be done, and it will take some serious time for everyone in college football to settle on a fix; at least now more conferences are starting to realize that something has to change, and that truly is half the battle.
Monday, March 30, 2009
My Article for the Editorial Portfolio
I am going to do my editorial on the proposed MWC playoff plan that could potentially take the place of the current BCS system. I found this article in the daily skiff, and I am passionate about it because this could help the Horned Frogs get a chance to play in a GREAT bowl game each year. In my letter to the editor, my response is one that will agree and disagree with the proposed plan. Essentially, this is a good start to a fair and exciting playoff system, but there are still many holes in this plan.
I plan to support my stance with my own experiences season to season that end with a great team getting left out of the mix because an automatic bid trumps a near perfect season for a team from a lesser conference.
I plan to support my stance with my own experiences season to season that end with a great team getting left out of the mix because an automatic bid trumps a near perfect season for a team from a lesser conference.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Topic Exploration for Editorial Portfolio
I want to write a letter to the editor agreeing with an article that was written in the Daily Skiff about the Mountain West Conference playoff proposal. The MWC Board of Directors came up with the idea and it has received support from other conferences around the country. This type of idea is definitely needed because year after year in college football a team is left out of the mix. The current system, the Bowl Championship Series is just not sufficient enough.
I think this topic is good because there is enough here to respond back to the article, create my own op-ed piece, and make a creative cartoon, mock article, etc for this portfolio. I am also extremely interested in this issue because I am a huge sports fan. I have seen how messed up the current system can be, so I would love to see a change.
I think this topic is good because there is enough here to respond back to the article, create my own op-ed piece, and make a creative cartoon, mock article, etc for this portfolio. I am also extremely interested in this issue because I am a huge sports fan. I have seen how messed up the current system can be, so I would love to see a change.
Author's Note for Final Draft and Portfolio
I think my final draft is by far my best draft, as it should be. There has been a ton of rewriting and adding on to it, and I think now it is complete. From a citing standpoint, grammar, and most importantly content, it is good to go.
The balance of summary and analysis is good, and I am happy with the additions I made; the workshops were definitely primary reasons for why I did add what I did, so I am glad we had those. There are always things that can be done to make a paper better, but I worked hard, and I am happy with my final product.
The portfolio has a ton in it. It is packed with all of my drafts, charts, etc. I put a lot of effort into making sure everything was in its place and everything was accounted for. It is interesting to see the transformation from the first two body sections, to what I have now: the final product. I think a quick glance at the portfolio shows how much work and research was done, and that is exactly what a portfolio should show. There should be a gradual increase in research, effort, substance, and quality. I think all of these things are improved upon, and I am more than satisfied with the entire package.
The balance of summary and analysis is good, and I am happy with the additions I made; the workshops were definitely primary reasons for why I did add what I did, so I am glad we had those. There are always things that can be done to make a paper better, but I worked hard, and I am happy with my final product.
The portfolio has a ton in it. It is packed with all of my drafts, charts, etc. I put a lot of effort into making sure everything was in its place and everything was accounted for. It is interesting to see the transformation from the first two body sections, to what I have now: the final product. I think a quick glance at the portfolio shows how much work and research was done, and that is exactly what a portfolio should show. There should be a gradual increase in research, effort, substance, and quality. I think all of these things are improved upon, and I am more than satisfied with the entire package.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Author's Note for Draft Three
In my third draft, I am looking for help with fine-tuning my paper. Citing issues, phrasing, word choice, and the little things like that are what I could use the most help with. I think the substance of my paper is good, and I think there is a good balance of summary and analysis. I made a few changes to y works cited, so a check over of that would be good too.
I think I am close to the end with this, and I obviously have to be too, but I am happy with where I am at this point with my third draft.
I think I am close to the end with this, and I obviously have to be too, but I am happy with where I am at this point with my third draft.
How My Rhetorical Case Study Has Developed
Having just completed my third draft of my rhetorical case study, I have seen a ton of improvement. I think this is my most complete draft, in terms of the right amount of analysis and summarizing. I feel good about the balance of the two. Starting the paper in pieces, I think now, with eight pages, my paper is filled out. It still needs some fine-tuning, but as a whole, it is there. I am happy with the flow, and how I transitioned from one point to the next, and I think from my first draft to this one, that is one thing that is definitely better.
Taking a step back, I can see I have come a long way since my first draft of two body sections. The paper went basically the way I anticipated it would, and with some finishing touches, I think it will be good. It is a lot easier to see it as a whole now, than when I just had two body sections.
Taking a step back, I can see I have come a long way since my first draft of two body sections. The paper went basically the way I anticipated it would, and with some finishing touches, I think it will be good. It is a lot easier to see it as a whole now, than when I just had two body sections.
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