Cameron and Lacy read over my paper, and their suggestions were very similar. Both suggested that I should add more description about the colors of the sections of the library, and what is exactly going on. What is the cafe like, and what are the frog pods like in the loud section are two things I could elaborate on. I see this as something I will do in my paper; in addition to adding on to both of these things, I plan on adding more description as a whole. Although I do not feel my paper is general or bland, I do think I could go more in detail, describing more of what each area is like. Colors, sounds, smells, and so on, could all enhance the quality of my paper. They both had many good things to say. Lacy liked how what I was trying to get across was presented in one sentence. Both Cameron and Lacy thought some of my examples about behavior in the library were accurate and funny.
Overall, I think fine-tuning and painting more of a picture for my audience are the two pressing things I need to do. By doing both, I think my paper will be much more explosive and entertaining. I think I have some great stuff to work with, and I think the peer reviews were a great help.
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